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What is aftercare in BDSM? How important is it? Is it a part of vanilla relationships or do we need to use it too?

Aftercare in BDSM

Aftercare in BDSM
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Sex is a process of uniting bodies and minds of two people. If we speak about BDSM, it requires even more energy to put into action. Then after sex you`ll require some time to recover powers. This is when “Aftercare” takes place.

Importance of Aftercare

Aftersex activity is important for building healthy and strong relationships. Without showing care and love to your partner after sex, it won’t show him/her how happy you are.

If you are Top, it is a paramount thing to do Aftercare. Otherwise, Bot will consider oneself a toy in your arms that can be forgotten soon enough after sex.

If you are Submissive, by showing Aftercare, you will show how much you love your Master. And that is a great thing to know after a good session, where you were gifted with skillful mind and hands of Top.

Aftercare in BDSM: Hug me! I need it1. Hug me! I need it

The best piece of advice we have here is to be with your couple. Whatever you do, do it together.

Types of Aftercare

There are several types of Aftercare that depend on the situation and your preferences.

1) Relaxation

Sex is a physical activity that combines different kinds of exercises. Better than any gym ever. Here you will find cardio and weightlifting in the same time. Some positions require flexibility and agility. Therefore, even a 12-minutes distance can drown you dry. It is hard to think about anything about a euphoria, but you need to check, whether your partner feels good and, if not, make it better.

As the whole body was involved in the process, take a deep breath and let your organism recover itself. Your muscles, heart, and mind deserve their rest, so give it to them! If you don’t you will feel oneself exhausted and unable to go to the 2nd lap.

2) Check your feelings

You need to check your body for painful sensations. We don’t speak about pleasant pain that goes after vanilla sex. As BDSM is considered to be pain-based thing, you need to make a total examination of your body parts. Does your elbow hurt after being chained? Are your buns sore after spanking session? As soon as you find an issue, you will be able to handle it. So it is better to find it as fast as you can.

3) Hug him already

What happened in sex remains in sex. Even if you practiced some humiliating technique, hugging your partner is highly recommended. Don’t worry that the halo of a “Terrifying Master” will not fall from above your head. True Top cares about respect and love, not fear. Give your partner Oxytocin, hormone that is produced during the moments of close relations. If you cuddle, kiss, or take each other’s hands. That is a perfect psychological cooldown that you both need.

4) Eat something

After the workout you need to take some carbohydrate to gain energy. It may be a tasty snack like a bar of milk chocolate and a cup of coffee or something to refill the power like salad and fresh juice.

5) Do bathroom activities together

Offer your partner to have a shower together. Warm stream of water will wash off tiredness and pain from your bodies. It is better to lie some time in a bath, as it will combine 4th and 5th paragraphs together.

Aftercare in BDSM: Touch me, love me2.Touch me, love me

We also recommend you to urinate as it will save you from UTI or just release the tension on bladder.

Is it bad to be good?

That is the question Doms are asking us frequently. The answer is “NO”. When you respect your partner and stay with him not just for the session, it means you are a reliable person. So your Sub will be infinitely happy to have you by his side. Therefore, as the trust will be established, you will proceed with the harder practices together. And that is how you step in into a real world of BDSM.

2018-03-29

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10 months ago

Good advice!

Top aftercare is so important too. I once had a major migraine for almost two days after Topping (& bottoming) in a single night. The key was rest, the body and mind can only handle so much. Always be kind to yourself after a session no matter which side of the fence you stand on. The level of emotions that you can experience during a scene can be amazing and the after effects can be draining on the mind and the spirit.
If you feel down after (could be a few day) talk to your Top/Daddy/Sir/Master or a fellow bottom/sub/slave/babygirl/little etc
Sub space is a heady place to be, and grounding yourself after is so important on multiple levels.