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The most widespread fears Dominants have in BDSM. Here we’ll answer how to face and control them.

Fears of Dominants

Fears of Dominants
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We have discussed the fears of the Submissives. However, Tops have their own fears. Now we are going to look at the most widespread of these.

1) Hurting a partner

BDSM is both terrific pleasure and a high chance of traumas. Any mature and adequate Top understands the risk. Therefore, the fear of hurting another living being is normal. It is really strange and scary, if there isn’t one at all. Especially, when we talk about a new Submissive that wasn’t “examined” thoroughly. Where the pain threshold, taboos and psychological reactions to some practices aren’t checked yet.

Dominants aren’t robots

1.Dominants aren’t robots

2) A fallen idol

Most Dominants care about their look with fleur and a nimbus. Therefore, losing these attributes is what they secretly fear. Just imagine, you have a woman that barely swears and hails you. Then, she suddenly realizes, you are a common person without anything special that can be changed to someone else. Someone “more holy”. These fears are common for newbie-Dominants and disappear after a small amount of time.

Remember, when Submissive receives pleasure and reaches sub-space, you are her God. As it is hard to look at a man, who let you reach sub-space as at an ordinary person.

3) She wants it, doesn't she?

It is impossible for a person to fulfil every dream of another person in the way the latter wants it. We aren’t robots and there is nothing bad about it. Depression, bad mood, health issues, and problems at work. Women also have PMS that is a handicap to following orders. However, Top won’t be able to understand the problems in her head, so he will hesitate and think. Whether she is unable to carry the order or she doesn’t want to obey him. The piece of advice is incredibly easy. You will need to talk with her and decide, what does she have on one’s mind. Remember, it is a matter of a single question to prevent your couple from a conflict outbreak. Submissive, from her side, must be honest and not to play hanky-panky with one’s Master.

BDSM isn’t about slavery, it is about double-edged pleasure that lasts as much as you want. So don’t start a session, unless any side doesn’t want to. It will lead to no good consequences, that’s a rule.

4) Device with own legs

You may be surprised, but Doms confess that they feel themselves some kind of device for delivering pleasure. The answer for handling this fear is the same – communication. Communicate about your feelings and dreams, listen to her thoughts and ideas. If Submissive puts her pleasure above yours – break up. You were right, you are the device, mentioned in the header.

5) Status is our everything

When we talk about DS-relationships, BDSM must be implemented in an entire life course, not only in sessions. It happens that routine wins and a quarrel occurs. There Sub insists on what she says. Such way of thinking leads to Dom’s torpor. It is hard to decide what to do in that moment. Showing your Dominant status won’t be the best solution in that case for sure. However, agreeing with Bottom may be too painful for Master’s ego and self-respect.

Dominants aren’t Gods2. Dominants aren’t Gods

There is no single answer. You should decide for yourself in each situation. Don’t dedicate 100% of your life to BDSM. Sometimes, it is useful for you to put away all the rules and listen to what Bot says, as one may be more confident in this aspect or have some experience in the question. By the way, Sub must also remember that her Master is a living being too, and he can be wrong in some situations. There is nothing wrong about it.

6) Social background

Social life influences relationships. That’s a fact. Society has strong impact on both vanilla and BDSM. A woman that is more successful/earns more money/has become more famous is a strong hit to man’s personality. This is even worse for BDSM-couples.

Many men forget that Subs choose partners neither because of money, nor fame. It is about other characteristics that make you Master.

Fears are the common thing for both sides of BDSM encounters, Therefore, Sub must remember to support and love her partner. It is the best medicine to cure their anxiety.

2018-03-29

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