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The most widespread fears most Submissives have in BDSM and the ways to overcome the psychological challenges of being Bot.

Fears of Submissives

Fears of Submissives
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It doesn’t matter, which relations are you actually in Vanilla or BDSM. People are afraid of some factors we are going to describe in this topic. This fear may ruin not only the session, but also the entire relationships. Afterwards, the person won’t be able to create and maintain relations with another person. It is possible to get rid of most fears with the help of communication and trust. Another fears lie on the subconscious level and can’t be easily “cured”.

1) Meeting a maniac

It is the #1 fear of all Submissives in BDSM as it is quite widespread in our community. Women are afraid to meet new people, because the next one may be a true maniac, which will do anything HE wants.

Due to the fact that the Idea attracts many “unworthy” people, you can easily meet someone that will hurt you both physically and emotionally. We have already told you about the precautions you must take in a special guide. You can find it in our “Articles”-section. Revise that topic, once you’ve finished with this one.

If not a maniac, Submissive may find just a scoundrel, who won’t do neither bad, nor good for her. It happens and you should accept that some percentage of men is like that. Don’t forget that you are a woman and think of yourself and your safety first. Don’t be afraid to show that you have enough power, it isn’t the time to show vulnerability.

2) Asking for more

Often, Submissives start to think about happy LS after a couple of session. They dream of living together all their lives. However, no one asks Dominant as he can have different opinion: one-night sex or “polygamy for life”. It happens that Top has its own family and comes to BDSM just for sessions.

If you are dating an honest person, who told you about his intentions from the very beginning, don’t try to change his mind. You have two options here: accept his lifestyle and have pleasure or find another partner that will fit your requirement.

Obey me, sweetheart1.Obey me, sweetheart

3) I’m not a doll

Most newbie-Submissives have this fear. They are afraid of becoming an item in Top's life. And being a doll will lead to a situation, where Dom has no interest in her personality. But it happens with only feeble men.

On contrary, a majority of Masters put much efforts and time in development of their Subs. Tension doesn’t last forever, but it doesn’t mean, you have become a toy in his hands.

4) Being bad for him

Hundreds of thoughts melt in the heads of young Bots. “I have disappointed him”, “I was too strong”, “ Gosh, I needed to be quiet” and all the stuff like that. As the time passes, you get used to your partner, you start to read his minds on foot. Experience plays tremendous role in here, so don’t you worry about that.

A right person will take care of your fear. He will tell you that everything is okay and you are moving in a right direction.

5) Absence of vanilla

Oh, this one is quiet popular in the beginning of DS/LS relations. Sub starts to think about her new life as the end of her previous one. No more family, friends, and hobbies. It will be all gone.

No, that doesn’t work this way. Master is a human being too, so he understands your basic needs and will not restrict you from meeting your mom and dad, unless you ask him to.

Remember, nothing changes beyond the borders of your private BDSM-life, unless you want it to.

6) What am I without my Master?

In BDSM it is Dominant, who takes shots. He is everything to his Submissive. So losing one is a horrible experience for a woman. It isn’t about losing only a husband. He becomes a soulmate and the meaning of life. Everything here is linked up better, than in vanilla relations.

Sub should share her thoughts with Top, in order to overcome them and not to overthink and destroy the whole coupledom. If the fear had some basis and you are going to break up, it is easier to solve it with communication and honesty.

Forget about your fears2.Forget about your fears

This fear has another side. You can hardly meet a proper person for yourself. People love to say that there is plenty of fish in the sea. But how can you find YOUR fish? The one that will be just perfect for you. It is almost impossible to find such a person. (You don’t think, we’ve been talking about fish, really).

Our recommendation: accept your fear. If you call another person your Master, there is a chance of divorce/break up. However, don’t let your feelings overwhelm and control yourself.

This isn’t an entire list of fears, but here we have mentioned the basic ones. The recipe for curing all of them is love, mutual understanding, and communication. Therefore, take these medicines 3 times a day!

2018-03-29

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