KinkyGalaxy
Why is it so hard to be Dominant? Is it so easy and stressless? Let’s find out!

Being Top is Awesome!

Being Top is Awesome!
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Do you agree with that?

Every now and then you can listen to BDSM-newbies talking about how cool is being Top. You have all power in bed, a partner obeys you and can’t say a word against your will. “So being Bottom sucks. It can’t be cool in any case”, - some can say.

There is plenty of question, arguments, and even quarrels on this topic. Like: “How can you hate self so much?”, “Eh, you can’t take responsibilities for own life”, or even “You are just psychos, how can you do it? There is no pleasure in it!”.

Humiliation

So, humiliation. Everyone has its own triggers that can debase one on any level. Women, for instance, find it quite uncomfortable to go outside without make-up or wearing some bad clothes.

There is a certain cliché about BDSM. Bottom is the one, who’s abused and staying on his/her knees all time. There is a thing that people forget about BDSM. Unless Submissive wants to stand on one’s knees, he/she won’t. Top IS ALLOWED to humiliate Bottom.


Power is a great responsibility1. Power is a great responsibility

Withdrawal from responsibility

When Bot gives rights to use her to another person, she isn’t getting away from the responsibilities. She is still in care of herself.

Both Dominant and Submissive have relationships similar to vanilla couples. It also covers the problems with mutual understanding. But handling it becomes easier due to the fact that both partners have strict roles that doesn’t change neither in bed, nor in daily life.

For example, Master feels that something is wrong with a Slave and he orders to explain the situation. You see, it saves a lot of time and mental powers this way. A dialogue reached without peeve will lead to understanding and harmony faster than in vanilla couples.

Puerilism

Puerilism is a mental illness, where a mature person behaves and thinks like a child.

This term also means actions done in unconsciousness. There can be no puerilism in BDSM-relationships due to the high responsibilities in-between a couple. Each side must have to answer for its thoughts and deeds.

Even if we talk about Submission-side, we shouldn’t be childish. Bottom itself must inform Top about uncomfortable things that bother her in physical or moral aspects. Besides, Slave must carry out the orders in the way Master wants it. Phrases like “I thought it would be better” don’t work here.

Dominant. Control and Pleasure2. Dominant. Control and Pleasure

Still waters run deep

The most tremendous part of BDSM is that you can understand what your partner is thinking about by just looking into his eyes. Such skill is developed with time, but it is a perfect way to experience close relationships. It means putting more effort and time into relations, but it proves to have a great result. However, if a person is a “player” and doesn’t want to change one’s lifestyle, it will do no good.

Still waters run deep you may say. Yes, looking into a soul of a person next to you is a real challenge.

But when you choose a person to live with, you need to go through everything together and dive in these waters without fear and regrets. Even if you have something on your mind, feel free to communicate and solve these problems together.

Zealotry

Zealotry is also a mental illness. A person can’t think about anything, but an idea or another person.

It is thought that fanatics prevail over other people in BDSM ideology. It is a myth, because there are as many bigots as in vanilla world.

Most of adepts doesn’t want to spread the Idea among their non-BDSM couples. Your neighbor, friend, or colleague may have been a BDSM-follower for some time. Majority of them finds it too intimate to share with other people.

Who gets all the fun

So, let’s speak about the most interesting part. Newbies think that Top is the only side to get pleasure from coitus, and Bottom exists only to deliver it. They, for sure, don’t know about the other side of such pleasure.

1) Top must know everything about the occupational safety and understand how to use special devices he chooses for a session.

2) Top must investigate Bot thoroughly by asking one about psychological and physical durability, as well as taboos.

3) Dominant must put all attention and experience into a process. Checking tiny signs of Submissive going beyond the edge. Remember, in no case must you fail a person that gives all herself to you.

Besides:

Top must know and remember the taboos of Bot.

He is also responsible for an environment they will be in during a BDSM-session. Therefore, there are two variants: preparing it yourself or ordering Bot to do everything and then checking.

Take in mind, there are two conditions Submissive can come to: Subspace and Subdrop.

Subspace is a condition, where a person is put in some kind of trance due to a high level of endorphin.

Subdrop is an opposite situation, where Submissive has a strong emotional shock instead of pleasing relaxation.

In both cases, Bot can’t pronounce a stop-word. The objective of Master here is not to let a person fall into Subdrop.

If everything is going on well, both partners will get pleasure from session.

In the end, we want to say that with power Top gets responsibilities. So don’t judge these roles by what vanilla people say. Believe only to what you see with your own eyes and love each other!

2018-03-29

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