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This article will help a new Submissive on her long way to becoming guru in BDSM.

Manual for a newbie-Submissive

Manual for a newbie-Submissive
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Manual for a newbie-Submissive.

Being a new Sub in BDSM-community is a hard and thankless thing. Everybody strives to get some fresh meat and say “On your knees, bitch, suck it now”. Such Master will assure you that there is no better Top in the world than he is. He is the only one who knows, how to deliver pleasure.

If we speak about new , some mistakes may lead to wounded pride of the first. However, the same mistakes may have dramatic outcomes for a newbie Submissive.

Surely, we don’t say that these tips are obligatory and must be followed in any case. Although we hope that this manual will help girls, who has just come to BDSM as Submissives, to save their psychological and physical health and get mutual understanding of BDSM and relations with Master.

Here we go

The first piece of advice is similar to any relationships/sports/discipline. Don’t worry about the mistakes. Remember, you can’t do everything with 100% score from the beginning of BDSM path. Something may go wrong and, in majority of cases, you won’t be able to predict it.

Just tell yourself that you can do something wrong and that it is okay. But it is essential of human beings to do mistakes. Your experience is based on it. As soon as you start accepting your problems, you will be able to find solutions for every one of them.

Manual for a newbie-Submissive: Don't be afraid to make a mistake1. Manual for a newbie-Submissive: Don't be afraid to make a mistake

Don’t read articles and recommendations for Dominants. If you have already decided, who you will be in BDSM relationships, don’t use this info. You will just mess it up. It won’t help your overall development, because you have exactly the converse views on sexual relationships with Tops. You need to obey your Master and he will tell you what to do. After that you’ll choose whether he is someone, you’ll obey to or not.

Don’t look around for the ideal Submissives. They are in their own relationships, different from yours. Yes, most BDSM-relations have similar scenario. However, the main thing is in small details that create the uniqueness of your couple. Get rid of examples to look at, because it doesn’t work this way. There can be no obstacles and taboos, if you don’t see problems in it. If some Jane told you that “this practice is awful” listen to your feelings. If you like it, forget about this Jane. Don’t let strangers into your relationships. Both vanilla and BDSM ones.

The following piece of advice is simple. But it proves to be too hard from the psychological side to follow it. Trust yourself! It is the only way to understand what you really need from these relationships. Trusting your partner is a paramount factor, but many people fail to remember about selves in the same time. You won’t trust Dominant, until you believe oneself.

Manual for a newbie-Submissive: Don't be passive2. Manual for a newbie-Submissive: Don't be passive

See a difference!

Being Submissive isn’t equal to being passive. If something bothers you, communication is the answer. Don’t sit tight, until the problem will go by itself. BDSM relationships will make an issue grow. Your Top isn’t maniac, he is a person who takes great responsibility for you and your life. He or she must take care of your physical and mental condition, so to make your time in bed entertaining for both parties. Therefore, ask questions, make proposals and offer your Master some things that you two will love.

Be honest and you will have harmonious relationships in BDSM. Show Master what you feel. As soon as he sees a whole picture of your emotions, he can understand what delivers pleasure to you and what doesn’t.

Always remember your role. You are Bottom, so be respectful. It is a key to long-lasting BDSM relations. If you don’t respect your Top that isn’t your Top and you aren’t his Bottom. These relationships are going to get stuck soon enough, whatever feelings you may have to the man and vice versa. If it occurs to you that you can’t provide him with obeisance and strict rule following, it is better to keep distance. Be friends and don’t spoil the lives of each other.

Be useful. It is you, who must be useful to a partner. Think about stuff you can do to your Dominant. How can you fulfill his dreams and what special abilities do you have. Don’t be afraid that you’ll need to provide CV to the BDSM club to find Top. But you need to understand clearly, how can you satisfy your partner. Only actions, proofs and specifics work here. Theses like “I’m the best in the world!” can’t be taken seriously. As soon as you make deeds, you will get your Master pleased and happy. And that is your only mission.

Manual for a newbie-Submissive: Be useful3. Manual for a newbie-Submissive: Be useful

Be a perfect Submissive!

Top wants to see a woman that ALLOWS him to do anything with her. Just for his pleasure. It isn’t because she is desperate. Bottom shows the level of Top, not inversely.If you see an unrestrained Submissive, what will you think of her Master? That it is Bottom, who has power in these relationships.

But don’t confuse dignity with vanity. The latter one is unacceptable for Submissive. If you are proud of your man, don’t vilify other men. Yes, he is your Master and he is the best for you, but there are many worthy Dominants, who can’t be treated like mud by you. Show what you were taught by Top and be self-possessed. It is the best choice in any conversation.

We don’t recommend you to upgrade your relations to DS instantly. DS is time and energy consuming thing, even harder than the vanilla ones. You need to know a person better for this serious step. An equivalent of DS in vanilla couples is marriage, where you can rarely see a fast leap to domesticity, avoiding preceding steps. It is about new lifestyle, so you’ll need to consider all pros and contras, before taking a decision.

Until that moment, explore BDSM, learn some specifics and secrets, look at different partners and practices and then decide. Your Master will come to you, when you are ready. Don’t hurry up.

Manual for a newbie-Submissive: be consecrated4. Manual for a newbie-Submissive: be consecrated

Instead of conclusion

In the end, we would like to say about personal moderation. Don’t rush into new relationships with Top, even if you want it hard. You are already reading this article, it means, you are moving in a right direction. You don’t the first person you’ll meet on the street. Be patient and remember, you deserve the best experience in BDSM, which comes with a proper Dominant.

That is it, we could miss something, but it is impossible to predict everything, you may face. Meet people, try everything you want and never lose self-esteem. Love to all of you!

2018-03-29

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