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Is BDSM scary and horrifying? How many myths has this phenomenon created? This article will help you to understand the notion of BDSM and why are the stolen waters so sweet?

Most widespread myths about BDSM

Most widespread myths about BDSM
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Most widespread myths about BDSM

Imagine a modern lady. She is slightly over 30, beautiful and smart. She has succeeded in job and family and achieved something on both of these fields of life. But if someone says that this symbol of modern woman is a submissive. A pervert.

What do you feel now? The ideal image from now on starts to shatter for the majority of people. However, they don’t take in mind that it doesn’t affect her relationships in a bad way. Devoted person knows that BDSM relationship require much more communication in-between a couple. It also means that partners’ trust is on a highest level.

Although BDSM becomes a trend that attracts people from different sociological groups. The new protagonists of this love idea are scared to proceed with their own steps. As it may become terrifying to hurt their loved person in any way. The mind will be trying to stop you.

But those, who dedicated some time and understood a matter of things in this culture have nothing different with the “vanilla” couples. They just have their tiny secrets.

So what are the myths that exist in our society and are they real or not?


The most widespread myths about BDSM: hurt, not scary1. The most widespread myths about BDSM: hurt, not scary

Adepts of BDSM are perverts that care only about satisfying their strange needs in sex. They love to hurt people or to get it, nothing else matters for them.
  • BDSM is just a sex play
  • Adepts of BDSM love pain and nothing more
  • They are just insane!
  • It is a very dangerous thing!

This idea has a strong basis due to the value of porn photo and video materials on the Internet.

They show the actors that play their roles to show hypertrophic emotions in the porn-play. In life it is much more different. People just want to have brighter sexual relationships with their beloved ones.

If we refer to statistics, there is a percent of people that love to act in a bedroom this way. However, the majority of followers of an ideology are mature in physical and mental way. They are as common as your neighbor (by the way, he may be our fellow comrade). The quality question in choosing an appropriate party stands more important in BDSM-relationships. It must be a trustworthy person, who you’ll allow to fulfill your dreams.

Casting on the role of a partner is far more slow and scrupulous here, than in the vanilla couples.Therefore, the approach to choosing a “proper” person is quite serious.

Some may say that BDSM just colors sexual (and therefore other aspects of life) relationships within a couple. It is a matter of a tool and not an ideology as the undevoted people can say.

But there are couples that follow BDSM-rules in their ordinary lives beyond sex. They project them to a whole new psychological paradigm, where there are “Dominant and Submissive”. The first one dictates rules for the second one to obey. It may be, we shall repeat, a common couple from across the road that has jobs, kids and their own house without any “accessories” hanging on the walls.

But as it is tempting to have their small secret, they want to have some reminder of their sexual play in their daily lives. So you mightn’t know, but a thin necklace on a girl in a bus is a collar. The thing that has a powerful implicit value for this particular person.


The most widespread myths about BDSM: not just sex2. The most widespread myths about BDSM: not just sex

Sure thing, pain is a stimulator that helps you to boost up your mood and feel life in a brand new way. It shocks and expands your emotional world.

There aren’t many people who can have satisfaction by only hurting/being hurt by someone in a harsh way. We are talking about some terrifying traumas both psychological and physical. However, it doesn’t mean that they need to be put in asylum. No, it is a deviation, which can be handled by a good psychologist.

What is BDSM? The connotation of this abbreviation depends on the person, who tells it and a main context of the speech. It is a subculture. Society. In some cases, it is called a social roleplay. The truth is it is all of the following at the same time.

Ironically sometimes a person mirrors the social paradigm in bed. Therefore the HelpDesk manager proves to be a dominant, which loves to spank his wife in their sexual plays and they both enjoy it. Or the CEO of your company that is a pain some places during a working week comes home and becomes a Submissive to obey her master.

In most cases you won’t know that your friend, colleague or neighbor is BDSM-follower. Unless they put on some special accessories to tell a whole world about their preferences in a bedroom. But it happens rarely, because they don’t want to be gossiped about.

By the way, being BDSM-fan doesn’t make you a worse friend, colleague or neighbor.

The most widespread myths about BDSM: pain and pleasure 3. The most widespread myths about BDSM: pain and pleasure

It is the most popular myth about BDSM. “It may affect your physical and mental condition!”. There is a grain of truth here, but an experienced Dominant won’t ever hurt his Slave. It is because a master reads enough medical and psychological manuals and know how to deliver pleasure, not pain.

Sometimes people enter the world of BDSM with existing psychological issues. These dominants’ main goal is to compensate for their complexes. So the Submissives of such guys are real preys.

The newbies want to dive in “practical lessons” without dedicating some time and struggle to theoretical material. However, without a complete understanding of ideology, we receive Dominants, who strive to hurt Submissives in any way possible. As well as Submissives, who think that will-less obedience to the Master is the only option in their case.

Remember, BDSM contains of pain and humiliation, but their harmonic symbiosis.

The most widespread myths about BDSM: spicy enjoy4. The most widespread myths about BDSM: spicy enjoy

What can we say in the end? BDSM-fans aren’t hunters and preys, monsters and perverts. They are no maniacs.

They are ordinary people that don’t agitate their sexual preferences and don’t break the law. They just need some understanding and acceptance by the society. And, in most cases, they don’t want to be intervened by non-fans.

Be more tolerant to people, so Love could rule this world.

2017-07-31

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