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To help beginners get rid of clichés, we will tell you about such areas in BDSM.

BD and DS - main differences, which confused newcomers

BD and DS - main differences, which confused newcomers
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We would like to start this article with a question: "What does your imagination draw when you hear the term “BDSM”" Surely, your imagination instantly creates a picture of the terrible perverts, dressed up head-to-toe in black leather, with long whips in their hands with a great wall full of collars, leashes, gags and other kinds of instruments of torture behind them. In a nutshell, people call them - "sick people".

It is obvious due to the fact that most people know little about what a BDSM culture is, or even worse – misinformed about it. And, as a result, they feel disgust, contempt and shame for BDSM-adepts. Including the shame to admit to selves that it is tempting and excited for them too.

To help beginners get rid of clichés, we will tell you about such areas in BDSM as:

BD, bondage and discipline - this definition covers bondage in a very broad sense (not only bondage with ropes, but also any methods that lead to mobility limitation) and disciplinary influences (training, education, encouragement and punishment).


BD and DS - main differences, which confused newcomers: servant1. BD and DS - main differences, which confused newcomers: servant

DS, Dominance & Submission are already relationships in which the roles are distributed between the Top and Bottom, namely a Dominant and Submissive. Very often, when newcomers are just beginning to learn what BDSM is, they get confused in the concepts of BD and DS, since in both versions there is a division of roles, where the same practices and methods can be used (training, education, punishment and encouragement). In both cases there is one who orders, and the one who executes orders.

But! The key point is that the BD is a practice limited by a period of time, and DS is relationship that is built and developed in the same way as vanilla ones.

BD is preferable variant for gaming sessions. Where the main emphasis is on the favorite practices, and not on the relationship between Top and Sub (Bottom). In this version, Submissive can have one or several partners. The Top and bottom meet, choose an interesting scenario that satisfies both partners and continue living their lives after the session is finished. The story repeats itself with another person, but the scenario may change. All relationships end after the session. Both partners return to vanilla communication, and have nothing between them. In BD, Top "dominates" during the session only, he does not reigns over Bottom in one’s daily life and does not take important decisions, which aren’t related to role-playing games, for him. He can’t restrict his partner's freedom more than Submissive allows him to. BUT! Do not forget that you are still responsible for your Sub-partner, so even after the BD session it is worth to show attention, care and participation.

A collar, one of the key symbols of BDSM, has only a technical purpose in such games. It does not bear any semantic and emotional load, but is used as a device.

BD and DS - main differences, which confused newcomers: discipline2. BD and DS - main differences, which confused newcomers: discipline

It is quite the reverse in DS.

The Sub will voluntarily transfer the right to dispose of himself in future to the Master. Surely, in the agreed framework, considering all taboos and limitations, defining the time intervals and areas of influence (for example, communication at work, among friends, etc.) If Top wishes Sub to be on his knees for a certain time - the Sub will stand, because the Master wished so. The main pleasure for the Sub is the realization of one's dependent position and belonging. The main goal of Bottom in the DS relationship is to please the Master. Therefore, it stands to reason - there can be only one Top in Bottom’s life. And in such relations the collar has rather big emotional meaning. This is the main attribute of belonging, a kind of engagement ring in Vanilla relationships.

Another significant difference between the DS and BD is the Top’s expectation of Sub’s full submission. “Conquest" games are more common in BD. Whereas in DS, the Host has constant control and full submission of the Bottom.

The basis of BD is subordination, that is action, whereas in DS, the key aspect is belonging, that is, sensation.

DS is a complex, emotional relationship, so the responsibility of the Top does not end immediately after the session. The Top can spend a lot of time cultivating and improving the Bot. Enjoying the process itself and admiring the changes that the Sub is undergoing. It's a way of life - both partners love these relationships. The dominant can apply BD practices in the daily life of the Sub - punish for disobedience or failure to perform one's duties. In the DS, the Top can put a Sub into a corner or deprive of certain pleasures, for example, a ban on visiting a certain event, etc.

Also, the owner can train his Sub to get an orgasm only after permission, whereas in the BD Submissive can bust whenever he/she wants.

You may have a question about how the BD differs from SM - because, in the last there are also painful practices, for example, flagellation.

It should be noted that in BDSM the boundaries between these three concepts are very blurred - in each direction of BDSM there may be practices from another sphere. They are closely intertwined. Adepts of the Ideology rarely restrict themselves to any of these areas.

BD and DS - main differences, which confused newcomers: submission3. BD and DS - main differences, which confused newcomers: submission

But if you still want to try BDSM practices, learn from your own experience what BDSM is, start small - short BD sessions with upbringing, dressing, low mobility restriction, as well as the light pain impact. You don’t want to harm your partner, do you? Your main goal is to try new emotions. Get and, of course, bring pleasure.

Do not try to immediately start building DS relationship. Because this is a huge psycho-emotional load for both partners, but primarily for the Bottom. It is quite appropriate analogy with sports training – by lifting a lot of weight you can hurt your back. And applying a lot of emotional pressure to the Sub can cause irreparable harm from physical to mental health.

Therefore, again and again, we should remind ourselves about the 3 BDSM whales - Safe, Sane, Consensual (SSC). These are the guarantees of happy BDSM interactions, no matter which direction you choose. It does not matter if it's a session relationship in the format of a BD or SM, or a long thematic relationship in the format of DS.

2018-03-29

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